“I’m lost. I’m such a loser.” – My client said
BEING LOST– is it really bad?
Imagine you are alone in a dark, deep, and cold forest.
There is no path but trees and trees.
Forward or backward? Left or right?
Or just stay still there until someone shows up to help, hopefully?
No one is going to tell you what is right or wrong.
YOU ARE LOST……….
Being lost is when we are covered by fear, loneliness, hopelessness, frustration, disconnection, confusion, discouragement and tiredness. Well, it doesn’t sound joyful at all. To be very honest, I used to hate it (and maybe still but not as much as I did). At that time, I kept asking myself “why am I here?”, “What should I do?”, “Can anyone just come and tell me what to do?”, “Should I give up?”, “Is anyone around to help me please?!” I even thought that feeling lost was a bad thing and for losers only. And I have to admit I was wrong. It happens to anyone.
Simply, being lost means nothing but you are in a place, where you have never been to. You no longer feel comfortable (of course, who would feel comfortable while being lost??!). You are dragged in all directions by fears, doubts, concerns, etc. of the unknowns. You are confused as any way could be the way. You doubt yourself. All in all, you have no glue what to do.
Just look at the picture below and tell me what you think?
Well, you may be asking me why I mentioned it. Hold on and let me explain. Transformation is a process. It’s not just black and white, bad and good, zero and hero …..but successive changes day by day, stage by stage. People talk about the Comfort Zone and tell you that you need to jump out of it to achieve a great life. Yet they don’t talk about the transition stage. I call it Buffer Zone – where you are not in your Comfort Zone anymore but not yet to the Magic Zone.
Why am I talking about Buffer Zone? Because it is a stage where you have never been to. You feel uncomfortable as you are already out of the comfort zone. You are held back by fears, doubts, concerns, etc. of the unknowns. Your mind keeps bouncing between different directions. You doubt yourself because your current version no longer fits your situation. All in all, you have no glue what to do. Now it sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Yes, Buffer Zone is where we feel lost like in a middle of nowhere. We are not prepared for it.
It’s no good or bad. It’s just it – a part of a development process. Personally, I think it’s a good stage because it means you are about to grow. The uncomfortable situation is just temporary as long as you decide to get past it. So, how to get out of it? Based on my experience, here are the steps I always follow to get out of being stuck in the buffer zone or in any circumstances.
- Be aware of your current situation. → Understand that it’s just a part of growing.
- Believe in yourself more than ever. You are the only one who can help yourself out of it.
- Carefully consider and decide where you want to go.
- Learn about the unknowns & Sort out your resources. → Prepare yourself for the new journeys
- Make a huge effort to push yourself out of it or you would be stuck in there forever.
When you realize you are lost, don’t panic. You are already at the first step. And the good thing is you are about to soar.
Believe me. I understand how hard it is. I know it causes you doubts and fears. But I want to tell you those are unreal. Listen to yourself. You are strong. You have all the abilities and talents to get over it. All you need to do is to keep believing in yourself, don’t let the invisible ties hold you back, constantly make efforts to free yourself from it and live the life that you truly want.